This is some advice my aunt had for my mom and she passed on to me.
Actually, believe yourself. When those red flags start popping up, especially early, trust what they are telling you. Listen to the spirit in your heart letting you know that it isn't right. We sometimes want so much for a new relationship, or job, or friend to be good we try too hard to *make it work* when what we should be doing is recognizing that we need to move on.
Lorelai, I wish I could make you learn all the things I have without having to experience the growth (i.e. pain). I know I can't, but what I really hope to help you know is that you are enough, alone or not, employed or not, and anyone you let into your life should be adding to it and helping you feel more you. Don't give your energy to someone who takes away from you, or prevents your happiness. They will show you. Believe them.